Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Three Things (Thing One)

So, I have three things to say, and rather than kick myself for being online right now, I'm going to say them, then bid you all adieu as I once again place the computer in quarantine. I'm leaving this on top so you'll know these all important three things are here and in the posts below.

In a wonderful effort to explain how I'm feeling, a wise, dear friend sent me the following observation:
every step you take, you're greeted with more steps to go and the feeling that you're not getting anywhere.
To which I can only say, "Exactly." I have a routine, really I do. Reading at night. Writing during the day. Anxiety at all times because, 1) at some point during the reading, I realize, I cannot read everything on this topic and I've read so much that I can't even cover it all and 2) at some point during the writing, I spend long moments staring at the paper, then scribbling down sentences, then scribbling those out. I am blocked in a way that is only exacerbated (actually, the block is probably caused) by the fact that I need to have a complete draft in the next month. End of discussion. So this chapter has to be finished and I have to go back and add what was supposed to be another chapter into my chapter two (they fit well together, so screw writing a whole new one).

But I've decided that I'm pretty much tired of my own whining. I am not the only person to struggle through this process. I just have to do it. Over the last year of blogging, I've seen Quinn, Ragey, and others do it, so it's not as if I don't know it's possible. So, for at least the next week, there is a moratorium on "poor elle" posts. And if you even smell the delicate but bitter scent of one, feel free to respond with a sharp, "Get over yourself, please."

Because it's just time, you know. I've had long enough. I've read enough. I know enough. And the damned thing is not going to be perfect.


Gwyneth Bolton said...

"The best dissertation is a done dissertation." I heard this quote too many times during the dissertation writing process from so many people. I have no idea who first said it to whom. But I pass it along to you with love. :-)

RageyOne said...

Yes, Gwyneth, I heard that same mantra over and over again.

Elle! You can do it and your last statement is very true. Your diss doesn't have to be perfect, just done.

Yes, you can do it! We are here to help push you through from afar. If you need to whine to us do so, that's what we are here for.

Texter said...

omygod, this sounds so familiar. I too am having the anxiety of the so-close yet so-far dissertator. i too need to be done YESTERDAY. Well, i have until march, but it would be great to have it done by mid-february. anyway, here's to us finishing this spring. my next deadline is to send a chapter to supervisors on tuesday. Best to you.

elle said...

yay, texter! where you been?

Professor Zero said...

As my neighbor kept saying during our dissertation days, "you know, if we just keep sitting in our chairs and doing this every day, we'll be done soon!"

Revelations and ruminations from one southern sistorian...