Thursday, April 10, 2008

Deja Vu

So BFP's blog is gone.

Quite selfishly, I am so pissed. But I think I understand her need to leave. Still, the way it's all unfolding...

Emily's comment at Hugo Schwyzer's made me think. The comment:
I don’t know the ins and outs of this one (yet), but you [Hugo] seem pretty damn quick to defend these white women against criticism from women of color every time the issue comes up.
My thoughts:

Do you remember Sophia in The Color Purple? Remember how she was all proud and had that beautiful strong stride and that seemingly unshakeable confidence? Remember how she wasn't scared to fight but she declared to Miss Celie that her home, her safe place would not be a place in which she had to fight to live and speak and think?

And remember how she did such a good job tending that safe place, loving and nurturing, that it showed in the fruits of her labor (her children)? Remember how Miss Millie wanted to co-opt that loving and nurturing and caretaking, but in a way that would subjugate Sophia and for which Miss Millie would get the credit?

And you remember Sophia's outrage when she said, "Hell, naw," that mess would not be going on?! Remember how offended Miss Millie was--at Sophia's nerve in calling out that bullshit?

But, almost like magic, before Miss Millie could respond in-depth, the mayor stepped in to put Sophia "back in her place" and defend Miss Millie's dishonor?

And for a while, Sophia disappeared* and we missed her, her vibrance and courage and voice?

But while Sophia was feeling tired and overwhelmed, her girl (Miss Celie) had her back.

And you know the best part of Sophia's storyline? When Miss Celie was asserting herself and declaring the validity, the importance, the reality of her life and experiences, Sophia was there to back her up,** to encourage her, to share her experience, to love her.

Sophia came back. Being knocked down for a minute only made her stronger. Despite all the bullshit, Sophia came back strong and assertive and laughing and sure of her place.

That gives me hope.
*Sophia was, for a time, silenced, and that can't happen with BFP. BFP, I say that you cannot be silenced, because do you know how many of us are influenced and encouraged by you? I hope, while you're sitting back soaking your feet and reading that book, you realize how much you are loved, loved, loved and appreciated.

**I know there are a million more links for other women who've been supported and encouraged by BFP. Hell, this is only one of many of mine.


belledame222 said...

yes, sometimes retreat is necessary; but also sometimes you find that "safety" is in going forth, because that's where you find love and support, too.

Anonymous said...

this is a wonderful post elle =*(

Melissa McEwan said...

Great post, Elle.

elle said...

Thank y'all. I miss her!

Anonymous said...

great post. and i too am saddened by her departure. I thought I was just having internet problems when I couldn't get to her blog...

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