Whoa!

Conferences and campus visits and conflicts... oh my!!

Today was a pretty good day though. I felt like posting, but I have little to report. :-)

I've been hesitant to admit that I'm having the interviews--campus visits--anticipation cycle, cuz if I don't get a job, I'll probably be embarrassed.

But oh, well, this is part of the academic life, right? And y'all will still think I'm cool, huh?

Plus, I'm not exactly miserable where I am and this could become more than a visiting position because of faculty retirements.

So, yeah, that's what's up. I've done a black history month presentation. I have two conferences coming up. And I'm going to the OAH--rural Louisiana girl in New York for the first time? I'm excited and TERRIFIED!! Will I get lost? Should I carry my purse?

So this semester is CRAZY--add in a little personal turmoil and you get elle in the perpetual state of "running behind."

I'm feeling a lot more confident in the Western Civ class. Way too many decisions about the Post 45 class (it's my field!! I wanna show clips from every relevant film!! Deciding the book/article list was hell--I wanted to include like, a hundred things!!). And the pre-1877 class is okay--but the thing is, I promise myself each semester that I'm going to be all comfortable with that class because I've taught it forever... and then I add or subtract something, shift focus, etc.

My kid had a cool science project on the water cycle. My sister's baby shower is March 8. My IRL and internet friends are the most supportive, understanding women in the world.

And I am tired.

But, for today, I'm okay.

Support the New Jersey Four

Via BFP:

Amy Winter has designed a beautiful new website dedicated to the New Jersey 4. At www.justice4nj4.com, you’ll find ways we can help the four imprisoned young women. There’s also a discussion board, so you can share your opinions, ideas, experiences, announcements, and any actions you plan to take on behalf of the NJ4. We’ll be adding more to the site soon, including:

* additional ways to help the 4 and their families
* upcoming events in support of the 4
* more information about the case, including the media coverage
* updates about the young women and their legal appeal
* personal messages from members of the 4 and family members

I'ma Get On It, Really

This so-called black historian of black history must defer to her colleagues in their timely celebrations of Black History Month:

Shark-Fu posted about Mrs. Fannie Lou Hamer, whom I absolutely love, love, love. She was just so strong and real and vibrant.

Anxious Black Woman wrote about Mrs. Hamer, as well, as part of her Black Herstory focus. She's also written about Ida B. Wells, Harriet Tubman, and Mary E. Pleasant.

And Sylvia is going to explore the theme "we are more alike, my friends, than we are unlike."

Because I'm reading about SNCC right now, I'm determined to write about Diane Nash and Ruby Doris Smith Robinson this month.

A Brighter Moment

My mom found this at the dollar store. After laughing uncontrollably, I have decided this is my new slogan:

My mom laughed with me and told me she figured it would make me smile. Have I mentioned lately that I adore her?

Aggravation

So once her mom put her out, my parents and I started to help care for Alexandria, though she lived primarily with her girlfriend.

After three weeks, a talk with the pastor, and dealing with her issues about "what people are saying," Alexandria's mom decided she should come home. But she didn't just tell her she should come home. She threatened to get the police involved again--if Alex wouldn't come home voluntarily she'd ship her to a girl's home.

Initially, Alex chose the home. But after tears, pleas, and arguments from her girlfriend, my best friend, another friend, and me, she went home.

I worry, of course, but I really try to put myself in her mom's place.

She really believes Alex is going to hell because she's a lesbian.

She really believes Alex is the most rebellious teen ever and that her (the mom's) reactions and disapproval and repeatedly putting her out have nothing to do with that.

She really believes I should have, hell, could have influenced Alex in some way. Basically, she is mad that Alex and her girlfriend have been around me together. She expected more from me, she says. Something is not quite right about me, she has decided. In short, she has displaced a lot of her negative feelings about a whole lot of things onto me.

I'm trying to figure out how to deal with it. On the one hand, I have friends telling me to let it ride--she expected that I shared her beliefs. She's a bit insecure because it seems that Alex has bonded better with another mother figure. She really just didn't know me and is surprised.

And in a sense, I am trying to wash my hands of it. But, in another way, I can't. She's beginning to attack my character--because I am not against Alex's relationship with her girlfriend, because I love Alex despite the fact that she does need to humble herself and learn to listen sometimes, I have become, in her view, a "bad" person.

And I have asked her, "When you put her out, did you expect me to turn my back?"

She said no, but that seems to be exactly what she expected.

Sometimes, I really regret moving back here.