Thursday, July 13, 2006

For Nubian...

...since she won't allow comments over there! I just want you to know that I think you're amazing. You've taken so much flak, so much heat this year--the amount of which would've destroyed some of us. And yet you come back, sometimes angry, sometimes tired, sometimes hurt, sometimes sarcastic, but always proud and strong. I marvel each time.

You rightly point out that you are not "the voice of all women of color, of all black women, or of all lesbians," and yet, you, and every word you write, are treated as such, while some of us remain silent. In fact, let me drop the us, and admit that I stay largely silent. Not because I don't agree, but because I don't have your courage. I fear that I will write the "wrong" thing, I won't be as eloquent or as on point. I don't know or understand enough. I don't have much experience with "real" struggle--someone has always been there to rescue me. And while I'd like to envision myself standing behind the solid wall of your strength, intelligence, and courage, sometimes I get the feeling that I'm not so much standing as hiding behind you, staying comfortable, holding onto my fear. Making you be the voice of all of us.

I am so sorry that you've been frustrated. But I am so glad, in the midst of that frustration, you still recognize your power and you still stand firm.

So take your time. We'll be waiting.

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1 comment:

nubian said...

thank so, so much for writing this. i don't feel left alone, i just feel like i have been tokenized by a more powerful group of bloggers, yet they turn on me when they feel challenged or threatened. soo...i think i'ma just stick to grad schol and put out some books or something--that way no one will right a damn book in response to how wack i am (or maybe they will)--but then i'll feel a bit better about things--like i am actually making a change.

anyways, i'm rambling. but i do appreciate this so much.

peace, elle

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