Really, when I started this, I had in mind the words of my best friend who envisioned me as an all-around political-commentator-stick-it-to-the-man-while-still-being-a-concerned-mother sort of writer.
Okay, I envisioned that, too.
Now, at three months old, I have to come clean about some things. The goal of this is to make me a better blogger, in the image that best friend and I first envisioned.
1) I'm not as political as I'd like to be--though I do know the five freedoms, sheesh! I don't watch the news reguarly, I hate newspapers because I hate clutter, and my TV stays off until 6 pm. My nerves can't take the noise. Thus, I will rarely have "this just in" posts. I promise to stay relatively current, however.
2) Last year, I found out I wouldn't be able to write my dissertation in my spare time while proceeding with my "real" life. I actually have to sit down and work on the thing and (here's the part that almost killed me) I have to do revisions! Elle, the queen of turning in first-drafts-as-final-drafts with little more than spell-and-grammar check! Though I love blogging and love reading other people's blogs even more, I have to unplug the dsl modem and give it to my sister for long stretches of time as a reminder of my writing priorities.
3) I don't know everything--that's a big concession. I don't even know how I feel about everything. For example, because I taught public school for 3+ years and subbed after that, I tend to be a bit **swallows a gasp** conservative on some education issues. I have yet to mae peace with that in my mind given my stance on so many other issues. I think the blog is incomplete because I don't write on views that I have that seem discordant. Maybe I'll blog on education soon and you'll see.
4) I'm lazy as hell. Good, insightful writing takes time, effort, and, in my case, tears (though not often). I read other blogs, particularly AngryBlackBitch and am blown away by what is said and how succinctly and effectively it is said. Later, I console myself. Not sure when later comes.
But just when I'm feeling my guiltiest, I realize something else. I don't want this to be solely a political blog. I almost wrote an entry the other day about my funny experience in a MAC store--but stopped because I wondered how it would affect my image. But I've decided that I need to be honest. Yes, I am a damned good student who spends too much time in the library. Yes, I identify myself proudly as a feminist. But I am also someone who spends way too much money on clothes and cosmetics, who sometimes questions her skills at mothering, who doesn't always live up to the goals of feminism. I am a horrible friend sometimes because I just shut myself away. I cuss so much that we had to start a gallon-sized pickle jar for my change. And I wonder if the women I study, who so earnestly want their stories told, don't deserve a better narrator.
So there I am. Maybe my blog can reflect that, the real multi-dimensional Elle. I'll write about my views on education and why I shop too much and this horrible dinosaur book my son brought home.
In the end, hopefully, the blog will be like me: good and bad, flawed but fortunate enough to be loved by many.