Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Did You Know...

...Under Ulrich Zwingli, New Hampshire became the first Protestant state outside Germany?

...Transubstantiation is when you burglarize the church?

...Martin Luther had more than 95 Theses; it's just that only 95 would fit on the door?

...said truncated theses primarily critiqued the Church's selling of 1) Bibles or 2) alcohol?

Brought to you by "elle's Tales from Western Civ."

Sunday, January 13, 2008

A Late...

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To all my Sorors of the illustrious Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.

95 years strong today!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Political Commentary

In the fine tradition of passing the buck, let me ask y'all what my BFF sort of asked me this morning: any thoughts about the unfolding presidential brouhaha?

My quick ideas:

I was surprised Obama won in Iowa.

I was pissed about the big deal made of Clinton's show of emotion.

I was surprised Clinton won in New Hampshire.

Ummm, where the hell did Mike Huckabee come from?

Who the hell are the candidates for the two big parties going to be?

And showcasing my political ignorance: What is the big deal about caucuses and primaries? I know what they are. I understand to a certain extent why they're important for judging the proverbial lay of the land, but it seems like a lot of time and effort are expended on these things. Is it worth it?

Thoughts? Observations? School me!

Monday, January 07, 2008

What the Weather Should Be

D.C. was cold. If you've read my blog for any length of time, you know that temperataures below 55 are just uncalled for in my opinion. Had it not been for the fact that I stayed with a dear friend (who had my ass traipsing through Georgetown in heels in the cold--I must love him), I would've spent all my downtime shivering beneath the covers.

Tomorrow, the projected high here is 72. In January. I am so glad to be home.

Friday, January 04, 2008

On My Way...

to the AHA.

See y'all soon!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Just an Observation...

So a few days ago, the LA Lakers wore retro (short, close-fitting) shorts in a game versus the Celtics. Kobe was not so thrilled:
I don't know what it feels like to wear a thong, but I imagine it feels something like what we had on in the first half. I felt violated. I felt naked. It's one thing to see films with guys wearing those things. ... I'd rather stay warm, man.
Which leads me to wonder if he's at all empathic towards his co-workers who regularly have to sacrifice "warmth" for "uniform gimmicks" like short shorts, in order to entertain the fans?

Just sayin'.

Late Night Snack

So late last night/early this morning, I experienced my usual craving for a snack. I decided to make a sandwich. My mom had turkey, but I didn't feel like warming it up.

**An aside, my grandmother used to tell us if we ate cold lunch meat, we'd get worms. So we had to warm everything in a skillet (hot dogs had to be washed and boiled) before ingesting it. Later on, I would eat cold ham, justifying my choice by saying, "Duh, elle, it's a cold cut." Then I realized, I don't like cold meat (the people who eat cold fried chicken on picnics really intrigue me). Just last week, my grandmother's claim was given some credence (sort of) by my sister's OB/Gyn who told my sis to avoid cold cuts because of bacterial issues.**

Back to the story already in progress. I pulled out two slices of bread. I was absolutely delighted by how soft they were (that's something else I don't like-hard bread!!! Not even bread that's supposed to be hard). I grabbed a jar of peanut butter and spread a thin layer on one slice of bread. Then, I opened the refrigerator, already anticipating the sweet contrast of that cold grape jelly and...

we were out. Which is when it dawned on me that my last night time snack, a delightful eggs-bacon-and-toast sandwich, had required the use of the last of the grape jelly.

I should note that my son is the only person in this family who eats peanut butter solo. It's too thick and plain for that! But what could I do? Cause, according to my grandmother, even worse than eating cold cold cuts, is wasting food. So I tried to find a jelly-substitute.

I thought briefly of syrup--my cousin used to fix us syrup and peanut butter sandwiches when we were little. Then I remembered all his baby teeth rotted out so I nixed that idea. My search revealed a can of whipped cream, some chocolate syrup and a pack of apple jelly left over from one of my father's sausage biscuit breakfasts. No, no, and no. My gaze alighted briefly on some jars of honey and I pondered that, but it just didn't sound appealing.

So plain peanut butter it would be. I had some misgivings, a sense of something's-not-quite-right, but I was hungry. Dejected, I placed the un-jellied slice of bread back in the bag, decided to make a little fold-over, and ate it.

The reasons for my misgivings were soon clear. Somewhere on it's leisurely journey down the esophageal path, that damned sandwich got stuck. Right in the middle of my chest. And no amount of drinking or moving would dislodge it. So, not only was I unsatisfied, I was in pain.

I took some acid reflux medicine and eventually the knot moved.

But I am even more convinced that peanut butter is not meant to stand alone.
Revelations and ruminations from one southern sistorian...