tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19408862.post9102972117791057815..comments2023-10-29T04:36:52.733-05:00Comments on elle, phd: On the Death of Michael Jacksonellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01867952598756889997noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19408862.post-62171694196063018942009-06-28T09:58:19.881-05:002009-06-28T09:58:19.881-05:00A respected Louisiana child psychiatrist recently ...A respected Louisiana child psychiatrist recently gave lecture that I attended. It was for lawyers, like me, who work with physically and sexually abused children.<br /><br />He was explaining the wife of the abuser and how she might respond when the allegations of abuse arise. He said that you love your husband. You go to bed. You wake up, to find out your husband is accused of abusing a child. Even if the evidence seems to fit and you believe the allegations are true, even if the husband confesses, you don't not love him when you wake up. <br /><br />Love doesn't go away that easily. Respect might go away. Trust is broken. But how can you love someone at night and hate them in the morning? You can't. Maybe, in time, you'll hate him. Or, maybe, you'll love him and eternally be disappointed by him. But humans cannot switch love on and off.<br /><br />Again, though I don't remember the doctor's name, I want to credit him - and not me - with this bit of wisdom.Giftie Etceterahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11353862141419399333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19408862.post-88991324001609019202009-06-26T21:35:41.860-05:002009-06-26T21:35:41.860-05:00@sly civilian bittersweet is the perfect word, i t...@sly civilian bittersweet is the perfect word, i think<br /><br />@The Venerable Vegan Empress Thank you for coming here and sharing thatellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01867952598756889997noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19408862.post-45981322226257301662009-06-26T16:05:53.809-05:002009-06-26T16:05:53.809-05:00Thank you, Elle. You perfectly summed up what I...Thank you, Elle. You perfectly summed up what I've been thinking and feeling -- I, too, am a rape survivor and although I wasn't sexually abused as a child, my dad was physically abusive and I often saw the same qualities in Michael's father as in my own father (except my dad was never as bad as Joe, I now realize). Hearing the times when he would talk about his childhood was the first time I heard that other children were abused, and there were so many times when his music (and Janet's, too) made me feel so much less alone in the world. Since the 2003 allegations, I've pretty much avoided intentionally listening to his music, though I could never deny the happiness it brought me when I heard it at parties or clubs. So I, too, can only wish him happiness and peace wherever he is now.<br /><br />Thank you again for writing this.The Venerable Vegan Empresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12181191699936334897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19408862.post-73046509916147920112009-06-26T15:52:04.728-05:002009-06-26T15:52:04.728-05:00"I knew what it was like not to be believed a..."I knew what it was like not to be believed as a survivor, and I didn't want to do that to those children."<br /><br />Yes. There are a whole lot of people who are normally capable of noting that the criminal justice system is not the be all end all of determining the truth concerning rape and abuse...<br /><br />Who nonetheless, are missing this part when talking about Jackson's death, and claiming that the acquittal means that the allegations were false. I just watched a video of the gathering at the Apollo, and I can't help but be touched by the outpouring of love and support. It's bittersweet.benhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03082138040950123534noreply@blogger.com